Session 6: Health & Recreation, Personal Growth, Agreements

Health & Recreation

marriage 2.0 athletic couple skiingSome of this can be difficult to talk about, but in the interest of leaving nothing to assumption, let’s talk through these things.

First of all, you may have noticed that people get together with people who have similar levels of physical fitness. You generally don’t see someone 50lbs. overweight with someone of athletic fitness. So if you want to be with someone who has a certain level of fitness it’s probably essential that you too get yourself into that shape. Additionally, what condition do you need to be in in order to feel comfortable in your body with another person? If you keep your body in a condition that reflects poor self esteem by not taking care of it, then you will probably not feel sexy, sensual and at ease in the presence of your partner or feel comfortable taking off your clothes with them when the time comes. So it’s important that you show up physically in a way that you feel good about and that demonstrates your own respect and appreciation of yourself.

  • Keeping yourself physically attractive and healthy is not only enjoyable for you and your partner but is really part of the responsibility of each person in the relationship. Being a healthy, energized partner adds quality to both of your lives and certainly to the experience of your relationship.
  • Create dietary plans that allow you to both thrive and live a healthy, energized life!
  • Discuss health and grooming habits that are important to you and what you want of your partner. Know the grooming habits that attract your partner to you.
Use the templates below to get started:
  • Worksheet – Health – Diet, Exercise, Grooming…
    Click to download this text template — it’s .rtf so you can open it with Word
  • Meet Mark Sisson, an long-time friend of ours. Mark Sisson is the author of a #1 bestselling health book on, The Primal Blueprint, as well as The Primal Blueprint Cookbook and the top-rated health and fitness blog He is also the founder of Primal Nutrition, Inc., a company devoted to health education and designing state-of-the-art supplements that address the challenges of living in the modern world. Watch his brief video introduction here.
  • Worksheet – Recreation
    Click to download this text template — it’s .rtf so you can open it with Word


Personal Growth

  • The couple that grows together glows together! Your evolution as an individual and growth as a couple is what keeps relationships fresh and alive. Create plans to keep your relationship fresh and growing.
  • Explore new possibilities for personal growth.
  • Avoid the danger of undetected unconscious patterns that emerge in relationships over time and kill the passion and intimacy.
  • Personal transformation leads to relationship transformation. If you want the relationship to grow and evolve so must you! Generating opportunities to do that will ensure that you have a healthy, thriving relationship that can deepen over time and help you get through “stuck” places, difficulties or trouble spots that arise.
Use the templates below to get started:



“Most of the stress people experience comes from
 inappropriately managed commitments they make or accept.”

– David Allen: Nightingale-Conant author & productivity consultant

The art of making and keeping agreements is one of the things that has had the biggest impact on my life and on my relationships then just about anything else.

Being able to make good agreements and then reliable keep them will eliminate more drama then just about anything else you can do.

What happens when you become a person who reliably keeps agreements without being prompted is that you create a sense of stability and trust in your relationship that is crucial to successful relationships. This is true in both personal and professional relationships. Often times people understand that about business but don’t get that the same thing applies in personal intimate relationships. When you say “I will do something” you are making a promise that is held in the mind and heart of the other person. They then organize their thinking and their action around your promise. If your promise doesn’t happen in creates a doubt about you in the mind of your partner – can I really trust this person? Is this someone who is who he says he is? Will this person really come through for me when I need them? Am I really on my own here?

The other person experiences it as a loss of support in their world. Even with small things, the mind tracks everything and if there is any pattern of broken or unkept agreements in a relationship it has a very de-stablizing effect on the relationship and impacts the overall trust of the relationship. This can affect intimacy as well. It also causes us to lose a sense of respect for our partner which erodes the relationship. In the relationship breakdowns that I have encountered, broken or unclear agreements account for a large percentage of the problems.

So get good at keeping agreements. Also, in the RARE event that you can not keep an agreement, know how to negotiate a new agreement or deal with a broken agreement. Getting good at agreements will eliminate 80% of the drama in your relationship.

In addition to keeping agreements, you also have to know how to make good agreements.

So what is a good agreement?

  • Generate agreements that will craft the conditions for a marriage that you will love and enjoy and allows you to live the life you really want!
  • Learn how to make good agreements and to only agree to the things that you really want and intend to do. This is important to avoid resentment and blame.
  • Learn how to successfully deal with a broken agreement. This is critical for couples, as broken agreements lead to drama and loss of trust.
Use the templates below to get started:


To be Continued…